C. U. P.

So we're moving. And I don't know about all of you, but when we move I like to have the whole house cleaned before we pack. (So it is easier to pack when everything is put away and in it's place.) Well got up way to early and started to do all the small little things that had to be done before the movers came. One of the things I did was clean the bathrooms. For those of you with little kids you know how they like to fill every cup possible with water and leave it there for the next time, so they can dump cold water on each other. I try to dump all the water out, but sometimes laziness get the best of me.
So I'm in the bath, dumping all the water out of the 30 cups, saucers, pitchers, and any other container the kids have water in. I get to the last one and I notice it's really murky. To my amazement it isn't water. It's pee! Yucky, smelly, gross yellow stinky pee! Your probably wondering, "Who in the world would do such a gross and disgusting thing?" I'll give you one guess. KADEN! My sweet, innocent, never does anything wrong Kaden!
When he gets home, I pull him aside and ask him a simple trick question, "Kaden, did you pee in the bathroom?" As soon as I say it, his face registers to the grossness that happened in the morning. But he tries to play it off. So I say " You know what I'm talking about right?" He lowers his head, and says "yes" because he knows he is already in trouble. I ask him " Where did you pee?" He responds with "C. U. P."I laughed so hard, I almost peed. Oh, I love that kid, even if he is gross.

UUGGGHHH!

Have you ever had a day, where you just want to run away? You really don't care where you go, as long as you get out of the house away from cleaning, laundry and screaming kids. I'm thinking about locking myself into the bathroom with a thick book, and not coming out until Spencer gets home. Which will be sometime around 6:30 or 7 tonight. Do you think anyone would notice? Or will I have 2 little girls crying and knocking on my door asking me to come out? Anyone want to come and save me?

Just you wait...You'll see. You'll ALL see!

It's inevitable. It will happen one day and then you will know. You will find yourself with four small creatures that you created by your own free will and choice. These creatures will start out tiny and helpless and cute. This is their way of tricking you. You will feed them. They will get bigger. And then the creatures will begin to argue with you. They will talk back. They will demand things. They will draw with sharpie on your favorite living room chair. You will make threats. They will throw their heads back in laughter at your threats. You will do something you promised the universe you would never do. You will say things your mother used to say. These phrases might include: "You are suffering the consequences of your own actions" and "I brought you into this world, I can take you out!" They will jump on you and pull your hair in response. They will tell people at church that you didn't answer the door when the doorbell rang yesterday because you were naked. They will scream at the grocery store at the top of their lungs "Help! This is not my mommy!" There will be many more antics, but I will not go into that now because I wouldn't want to depress or frighten you.

One day you will walk through your once quiet and calm home. There will be globs of toothpaste on the bathroom counter. There will be red crayon on the walls of your hallway. There will be clothes that were freshly folded only two hours before scattered all over the laundry room floor and the basket they were in will have turned into a "boat" somewhere else in the house. There will be dried juice on the kitchen floor that makes your shoes stick. There will be tiny hair bows of every shape and size tucked in the sofa crevices. There will be a Dora doll wearing your husbands garment top and your $80 glasses sitting on the sharpie chair mocking you with her permanent smile. And then you will make your way to the creatures' head quarters where you may or may not still be able to see a bed. You will wander into the creature's lair, but this is a mistake because you will step on a tiny black Lego that with jab so far into the bottom of your foot that it pierces your sole. You will want to scream naughty words at the top of your lungs but you will stifle your scream because of all the "little ears" that are surely lurking nearby. Instead you will bite your fist and squeak out a small cry. It is a cry for help but no one will hear you. At this point you will turn around and see your husband standing in the doorway. He will have a look of despair and confusion on his face that mirrors yours. You will stand side by side taking it in in total silence (aside from the screaming and complete chaos taking place in the living room as the creatures dance to the music of "The Wiggles" who you vow to strangle should you ever meet in person). You will look into each others eyes and there will be no need for words. Your minds will communicate with one other. First his brain will say, "What have we done?" and then yours will say, "I don't know, but it's too late now." and then his brain will say, "It's never too late! I've heard of gypsies who come through town and buy children. It's worth looking into." Suddenly a wave of motivation mixed with the devil's rage will surge through both your veins and you will summonthe creatures in your most intimidating voice. You will stand in the doorway with your hands on your hips and shout out commands pointing wildly at the mess. The creatures will put up a fight. There will be stomping of feet and gnashing of teeth. The air will be thick with defiance, but this is a fight you MUST win. They will sulk in the tub after losing "The Cleaning of the Room Battle of '09". They will pout begrudgingly as you scrub them clean of all the filth. You will silently attempt to scrub off some of the naughtiness in the process. This attempt will be in vain. You will help the creatures say their prayers by having them say things like, "Please help us to be gentle and loving and to obey mommy and daddy." This attempt will also be in vain. The creatures will eventually fall asleep but not before goofing around for half an hour, falling off the bed, and demanding a Hello Kitty band aid be applied to a patch of perfectly healthy skin. You and your husband will collapse on the sofa. You will lay there limp and expressionless for an hour. And then the unexplainable will happen. It always does. You will actually begin to MISS the creatures! Why would you do it? So you will stealthfully sneak into each one of their freshly tidied bedrooms and hover over their beds. You will watch the newly bathed peaceful creatures as they sleep. You will say words like "angels" and "sweet". You will ooh and aah and pat one another on the back at your perfect little masterpieces. Then the little fat one will stir, threatening to awaken and you will tear out of there so fast your head will spin. Your heart will be pounding with fear and terror. This serves you right.

I wish you all the best of luck with this very special and obnoxious rite of passage. Later you can ask me who stole my brain straight out of my head when the decision is inevitably made to expand the creatures' numbers to five.

The Hammer

I never really fancied myself as the as an authoritarian or just a big meanie. And most of the time I'm not. I'm just a big lovable teddy bear who melts when he sees his two little girls. Ok, that's not totally true. I don't really melt when they take a razor to my computer monitor, pour paint all over themselves, put my phone in the toilet, jump head first into my privates, dump all the body wash into the tub... need I say more. BUT.... I usually am just a big furry (except on top of my head) lovable, Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent. Wait a minute, that's a scout. I guess I'm one of those too. But I digress...
In a nutshell, I'm pretty mellow most of the time. Well, most of the time comes to an abrupt end at bed time. In an instant, I go from being fun lovable dad... and into... THE HAMMER. I don't know what it is about bed time that makes me so crazy. I guess I just like to have every thing orderly and expeditiously. So when I go to bed, I don't really like to hear the following: 1) I forgot to do my homework (here's the kicker) and it's going to take me an hour. 2) I forgot about my science project that will require you to run around town like a mad man till midnight tonight to make it happen. And to a lesser degree: 3) I forgot to brush my teeth. 4) Can I get a drink. 5) I forgot to eat dinner. 6) I want another story. 7) Kaden's touching me. 8) Brianna won't let me have the book. .. yada yada. I could go on for pages. I suppose that if those things were the exception to the rule, it probably wouldn't bug me. But the fact that they happen.... every... night... drive... me to the... brink ... o f s a n i t yyyy. And probably just a teensy weensy bit over. I find my self just repeating over and over,"Just go to bed". The way I say it changes as the night goes on though. It starts out very polite. "Please small child, just go to bed cherished little one". Then a little bit annoyed, "Will you just go to bed already". Then just a touch of the Hammer, "GO TO BED NOW!". And finally, with a faint sob,"for the love of all that is good in this world, please go to bed before go into a full nervous break down". Once my children have seen that they have taken me through this gamet of emotion, they dutifully go to bed. "No more damage can be inflicted tonight" is what they whisper to each other...
Anyway.. last night was one of those nights when they were just getting on my last nerve. Sophia and Emmy were just playing non-stop in thier bed and wouldn't go to sleep. So I took Sophie and laid her on the floor in our room and told her to go to sleep. After just a second, she started to cry and begged "The Hammer" to let her lay down with mommy. Oh, and she also said something about some stupid spider... like that would matter to a 3 year old that is terrified of spiders. Just man up and go to sleep!! The following was recounted to me by a patient loving wife trying to teach me something. After I left the room, Sophia began to sing softly "Follow the Prophet" over and over again. You see, mommy had taugh Sophia to sing a hymn when she was really scared... Susi called Sophia to the bed and brushed away her fears and rocked her to sleep. It was at this point that I realized that I needed to change my approach a little bit to putting the kids to sleep. I get so wrapped up in making sure they are sleeping, I stop listening to them and ignoring what they are telling me. When I do listen to the, hold them, read them stories and am patient with them, they go to sleep wonderfully. The Hammer realized that he needed to drop the tough guy act and just love the kiddies at bed time. makes a huge differnence. Anyway, that's about enough...

Update!

I just know all of you were waiting anxiously for another post about my diet so here it goes. I've lost 17 lbs. so far. The diet is hard! But I think the hardest thing has been my cravings! I'm not hungry but, I'm always craving stuff I can't have. Making food for the family is hard too. I have to sit at the dinner table and watch them eat the delicious meals I prepare for them, and stare at my pitiful plate of chicken and vegetables. When all I really want to do is steal food off their plate and stuff my face.
But, I have to remind myself that the end result will be well worth it. Right? Please say "yes". Nothing taste as good as skinny feels. At least thats what they say. But I'm not too discouraged. I've lost 13 inches of my body. And trying on clothes is actually a little more fun. I'm liking what I see in the mirror.
So on to the next 17 lbs. Wish me luck!

Dieting

So I started a new diet. I hate dieting, but I hate being over weight more. I have done almost everything out there except for surgery, and nothing seems to work. I did Jenny Craig for about 3 months, but found that I was always hungry, and it was really too expensive. I have worked out here and there and found little to no success losing weight. Don't get me wrong, working out made me feel better, but it was really hard to work out and not really see any results as far as losing any weight. I tried Weight Watchers with Spencer and had little success, but while I was losing maybe a pound a week, he was losing 5.
After about 3 months of dieting, I had lost 8 while he had lost 22. Then for Christmas one year, Spencer gave me 12 sessions with a personal trainer for a present. Believe it or not, I was extremely happy to receive such a gift. I was put on a strict 1200 calorie diet, and worked out 2 hours a day 5-6 days a week for a whole 3 months. And in those 3 months I lost 1 pound! Yes, you read correctly, 1 pound! Again I felt discouraged. But, I didn't give up. I tried another new diet. This time it was L.A. weight loss. My mother-in-law did it, and had great success. I for sure thought that this would finally work. I tried it for 3 months and I didn't even lose a pound. Talk about taking a razor to my wrists. OK, I would never do that, but needless to say I cried alot. I went to my Dr. and asked if there was some drug I could take, to make me less hungry. She politely said in a round about way that I need to stop being lazy, and even though I was mildly obese, to get off my fat a** and work out and follow a strict diet. UUGGGHHHH!!! Was she not listening to me when I told her in detail that I had been on a strict diet and was working out daily. Anyway, she made an appointment for me to get some blood work done, to make sure I didn't have a thyroid problem. So I'm like "YAY", maybe that's my problem. But, no it wasn't. My test results came back normal. So, I gave up. What was the point of eating chalk and working out all the time and not seeing any results? I had missed my double chocolate cake with milk chocolate frosting. Not to mention, brownies, bagels with cream cheese, $200 dollar cookies, french fries, blueberry muffins, and diet Pepsi.
So I made up my mind that my body liked to be FAT! And that I was going to have to go through this life PLUMP!( to say the least) I was never going to be able to go shopping and look in the mirror and be happy to see my "mildly obese" self looking back at me. So I started my new diet. It was "eat whatever I want" diet. My mind was made up. I was just going to have to live with what I looked like and be happy. So I did. And it was fun while it lasted, and then one day, while on vacation, my sister-in-law mentioned this new diet her friend was doing. She had lost 60 pounds in 4 months. And you didn't have to work out! So I said "sign me up!" OK,I didn't sign up right then and there, I did some research,and found that the diet could actually work. Or maybe I just hoped it would because I had tried so many other things. So for our 14th anniversary, Spencer surprised me with the diet program. I was a little scared and hesitant to try it, because, this diet is like no other diet I have ever been on. And you have to give yourself a shot 6 days out of the week. But I figured I tried everything else already, what would it hurt to try this one. I've been on it for 6 days now and have lost 6 POUNDS!!!!! I can't hardly believe it! I have worked out and dieted and not lost nearly as much as I have on this diet.

So, the reason for this post, is to keep myself accountable for staying on this diet and if I know that other people know about my diet program, they could keep me on track. In the past I have done diets and worked out and not told anyone (except for Spencer) because I didn't want to feel like a failure. And I didn't want people to say that I couldn't finish what I started. So if you see me diving for a Snickers bar at Rosaures, tackle me down and slap be back to reality.

(FYI Before and after pictures will be posted after the after pictures are ready.) So stay tuned.

And I want to give a little shout out to my hubby, for loving me just the way I am. Unconditionally fat or skinny. Always telling me that I'm sexy and beautiful, lying to me when I ask him if I look fat, and giving me encouragement when I need it. Thanks Babe! I love you!

9/11

It has been 8 years since the September 11 attacks, and I can clearly remember where I was, and what I was doing. There are moments in my life when confronted about,I have no idea what happened. I draw a blank. Spencer will ask me all the time of things we have done or if I remember this or that. Again I draw a BLANK.
But I could tell you everything about that day. How I woke up in the early morning, with a daily ritual of turning on the t.v. and watching Good Morning America. Brianna was only 3 and Kaden was 2. They were busy playing with their toys in their room. I remember sitting in my bed under the covers. It was gloomy outside,and a little chilly, unusual for San Diego. On the t.v. they were talking about the twin towers and how a plane had just crashed into the first tower. I was shocked to say the least. I was mesmerized and couldn't believe what I was hearing and witnessing. Then out of nowhere a second plane came flying in and strikes the second tower. I felt my heart pounding out of my chest and I was paralyzed. Then I started to cry.

I felt extreme saddness for all those who lost their lives. The images of people jumping to their death, the smoke bellowing from the windows, people running from the site, and people running to the site.

I called Spencer and told him what had happened. We were both in shock.

Eight years later and I still have to choke down tears. May we always remember the sacrifices that were made to save lives on that day. And the sacrifices that have been made since keeping us save. We are so grateful to be living in a country where we are still free and grateful to those who keep us free.